The Half Brother (2001) by Lars Saabye Christensen. Section: The Women. Chapters: The Drying loft, The Dove. Excerpts from an eBook.
Vera
stretches up to the clothesline to take the final piece, her own blue dress,
which she hasn’t yet had the chance to wear, and at that moment, as she
unfastens one of the wooden pegs and holds up the garment with her other hand
so that it won’t fall onto the dusty floor, she hears footsteps behind her.
Slowly they come closer, and for a moment Vera imagines it’s Rakel who’s come
back. -- But then she realizes it’s not her mother, nor is it Rakel, for these
steps have another rhythm, another weight, the floorboards give in the wake of
their passing, and the dove on the corner suddenly stops cooing. These are the
steps of war that keep going, and before Vera can turn around someone has
gripped her and held her tightly, and a dry hand has been pressed over her face
and she cannot even scream. She senses the harsh stench of unwashed skin, the
raw stink of a strange man’s mouth, a tongue that rasps her neck. She tries to
bite, her teeth sink into the rough skin, but he doesn’t let go of his hold.
She can’t breathe. He lifts her and she kicks for all she’s worth; one of her
shoes falls off and he forces her down onto her knees and pushes her forward.
She notice that the dress is hanging at an angle on the line by the one
clothespin and she tears it down with her in her fall. He takes his hand away
from her mouth and she can breathe, yet now that she’s able to scream she doesn’t
all the same. She sees his hands tearing up her skirt, and it’s only this that
she sees of him – his hands – one of them missing a finger, and she plunges her
nails into his hand, but even then he doesn’t make a sound. Nine fingers, that’s
all he is. He forces her face to the floor and her cheek is chafed by the rough
planks. The light is distorted now and the clothes basket has toppled over; the
dove is preening itself. She feels the man’s hands around her hips, nine
fingers that scrape against her skin, and he tears her open, he pulls her
apart. She doesn’t hear him; she shoves the dress into her mouth, chews the
thin material over and over, and the sun in the loft window shifts with a
shudder. He presses himself through her and in the same moment the church bells
begin ringing, all the church bells in town ring out at the same time. And the
dove suddenly takes off from the corner under the coal shaft and flaps wildly
about them; she can feel the wings brushing against her, and now it’s all too
late. She still isn’t twenty, and in the end it’s he who screams.
Afterward
everything is quiet. He lets her go. She could get up, but remains lying
nonetheless. He puts his hand on her neck. It smells of urine and vomit. Then
he runs. She can feel it, a soundless drumming against her face, her cheek. He
crept up on her, and now he’s running away through the long attic corridors in
Church Road, on may 8, 1945. The dove sits on the window frame. And Vera, our
mother, just lies there like that, her cheek against the floor, her dress in
her mouth and her hand full of blood, as a beam of sunlight slowly passes over
her.
--That’s
how she finds her own daughter. Vera is squatting beside the clothes basket. In
her lap she’s holding the newly washed dress, and she strokes it, over and over
again, humming softly to herself all the time. -- Vera turns slowly toward her
mother and smiles. Her lips and whole face are twisted, her left cheek is all
swollen. She has a cut on her temple, under her hair. But it’s her eyes that
are worst. They are huge and clear, and they focus on nothing and nowhere.-- “Little
Vera,” she whispers. “Has someone been bad to you?” But Vera makes no reply,
she only turns away.
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